Let’s say you’ve been in an established relationship for a while now…maybe a few years, give or take. The problem is, the relationship is toxic, cyclical, and full of drama. You’ve prayed and cried for God to open the eyes of the man you love and begin a change in him that will manifest into a new Man – Mr Right. You’ve asked God to point out your flaws, your wrong, so you can change and help create the peace and middle ground for you to walk together.
Now you and bae do share moments of love – pure love. When times are good, they’re good. But when it’s bad, it’s really bad. So what do you do? You’ve invested so much of yourself in this relationship. You’ve given your time, your energy, compromises, and I’m sure you’ve made some sacrifices, right? Each time the turmoil and dissension comes to a head, what do you do? You question yourself, your value, or what you can do to get him to see the light. You pray long and hard for God to just make this thing work.
You offer to give up A if God will deliver B, and you essentially plan your future with the love of your life and then ask God to bless it. You may see a little glimmer of hope here and there and an inkling of change in your beau but it never lasts long. Then you think if you love him more – more than anyone ever will – that love will transcend the brokenness of the relationship. So you love harder, forgive more, and even try to manipulate the situation to establish a reconnection after you all aren’t speaking to each other. Exhausting, right? When does it end? Who wins? Does he change?
Welp, God doesn’t operate on our terms. He doesn’t need our help in solving our life issues and He certainly won’t stop us if we insist on trying to force something that is not His will. Trust me, God sees all and knows the anguish of our hearts but one thing we must understand is that our faith does not rest in a relationship with any man because a man will never give us complete satisfaction, joy, happiness, and the fulfilment only Jesus can give. While you were certain Mr Wrong would be the one and transform into Mr Right by your wedding day, you’ve put yourself through hell tolerating mess, stress, and foolishness at his expense.
If I knew you by name, I’d insert it here: , please don’t try to force something God did not ordain. Leave that man at the altar (he belongs to God anyway) and stop waiting for him to have a sudden revelation, repent for all the anguish he’s caused you and suddenly become the one. It ain’t happening.
Have you ever considered that perhaps in all of this chaos you’ve been engulfed in with your man that God is waiting for you to seek Him and not your man? God is ready, willing, and more than able to meet you right where you are, place your feet on solid ground, give you a new hope and strength to fulfil his will even if that means walking away from your relationship.
I had a personal agenda in my relationship. I was going to make it work at all costs. My plans failed. God’s purpose is emerging. “Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” ~Proverbs 19:21~
God allows each experience to come into our lives because these are what shape and equip us to become the person He wants us to be with regard to character and conduct that emulates that of Christ. God is working out His plan in your life – sometimes silently and softly and sometimes with severe change. But He is always there directing and moving. Even if you don’t see or feel His presence nor see or feel Him working on your behalf, He always is. Ask God to help you trust Him and remember, “faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” -Hebrews 11:1